Thursday, February 19, 2015

21 Hit Singles That Never Were, But Coulda Woulda Shoulda Been...

Keeping in mind the general rules of what makes a proper radio single, e.g. tight running time, verse-chorsus composition, conventional "catchiness", here is a suggestion of 21 songs by 21 artists that coulda woulda shoulda been popular, career changing singles, but for whatever reasons, never saw such glory, and instead fell into relative obscurity. Some of these artists have had hit singles in the past, others never had a single - hit or not - at all, but the tie that binds here is that all these songs are fully deserving of that musical merit badge we've all come to accept for marketing purposes.  Regular readers of this blog might notice I've raved about some of these artists and songs before, but since you never got to hear these tracks over-played on FM radio, you get to instead find them shamelessly over-promoted here.  Enjoy...  

1. "SIDEWINDER" by Ass Ponys [from Some Stupid With A Flare Gun]

1994 saw Ass Ponys one and only novelty hit "Little Bastard", following which changes in label ownership saw them dropped from A&M Records, and more or less forgotten about. Nonetheless, they matured as artists until their untimely disbanding in 2002, but not before issuing a number of other albums with decidedly more sophisticated songs - one of which was "Sidewinder" from this, their 1999 indie label release.  "Sidewinder" is the heart-wrenching tale of a farmer's non-acceptance of the fact that his crop has turned to crap, and his livelihood along with it, all the while his wife notices with unspoken trepidation ("the dirt farmer swears his fruit is as fresh as the early spring / what does he care she's finding worms in everything").  Though the subject matter might seem alienating to a modern audience, each verse is lush with vivid descriptors of decay and disappointment that build into a fantastic, soaring chorus.  

2. "I Blew Up The United States" by Was(Not Was) [from Are You Okay?]

A post Sept. 11, 2001 world might not so readily accept a single about a fanatical attack on American landmarks, just as a post "Walk The Dinosaur" Was(Not Was) song would never really properly explode the band's popularity a second time.  Still, for as schizophrenic as Was(Not Was)'s output tended to be (one might most accurately described their body of work as whole as a sort of Yello meets Ween type mess ), "I Blew Up The United States" would have appealed on the same tepid level as "Walk The Dinosaur" did to those who wouldn't care much to explore Was(Not Was)'s more bizarre compositions.  It's a bass heavy song with maniacal piano refrains scattered throughout... and it came out 6 years before Fiona Apple would take the exact same, though better received, liberties. 

3. "Speed" by Bran Van 3000 [from Discosis]

Bran Van 3000 made a small wave in the middle 90's with the single "Drinking In L.A." and "Supermodel" (the music video for the latter had some moderate rotation on Mtv in those days] from their preceding album Glee; but by the time Discosis was released in 2001, the Beastie Boys' Grand Royal label, to which Bran Van was signed, folded and it likely took a toll on this very commercially viable, potentially successful follow-up.  Two singles did squeak out before the collapse, however: "Astounded" and "Love Cliche", though neither charted in the U.S., which is just as well, because they were poorly chosen.  If the promotion had been there, "Speed" would have been this album's guaranteed royal flush.  It's a sun-tanned summer anthem complete with cutesy "tickled kitten" female vocals, driving electro-percussion and - here's the left turn - some pretty bad ass accordion instrumentation.

4. "The Fire Song" by Company of Thieves [from Ordinary Riches]

Company of Thieves sort of came and went in 2009, for the most part, unnoticed. Not really one hit wonders, per se, with the abstinent airplay of the song "Oscar Wilde", they toured extensively in 2010, produced a follow up album in 2011, and then disbanded under the weight of overbearing frontwoman Genevieve Schatz.  Still, Ordinary Riches is an elegantly well-crafted album, and while the song "Pressure" was a well chosen follow up single, maybe the album's commercial sparkle began to fade before "The Fire Song" could be selected as a potential third promotional. A grungy staccato number similar in sound to Shirley Manson's band Garbage, "The Fire Song" had every bit of playlist power as "Only Happy When It Rains" did.

5. "I'm A Dog" by Crash Test Dummies [from A Worm's Life]

Forever relegated to the ranks of top 100 One Hit Wonders of the 90's, Crash Test Dummies' hit song "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" skyrocketed the success of their 1994 sophomore album God Shuffled His Feet... and then 1996's A Worm's Life pretty much tamped it back down;  and then 1999's Give Yourself A Hand more or less murdered it.  But while frontman Brad Roberts writing became increasingly la morgue littéraire with each subsequent Dummies album, one track on A Worm's Life offered some philosophical genius, and some hope at sustaining the band's success just a little longer: "I'm A Dog". It's the last example of the charmingly refined, endearingly inquisitive writings on topics of all things curious that Roberts has produced to date, and that said, the last proper Crash Test Dummies song.  Sadly, though, it remains forever buried as the second to last track on this, the beginning of the band's end.  In fact, re-release God Shuffled His Feet with "I'm A Dog" included as a bonus track (and oh yeah, "Superman's Song" from The Ghosts That Haunt Me), and you have a "best of" compilation for this band that's perfectly consistent and missing nothing.

6. "Act of Creation" by The New Red Moons [from Mesmérisme]

This selection might be a bit premature, as The New Red Moons' fantastic sophomore effort Mesmérisme is only about six months past its release date as of this writing, however it's pinned here with dual intent: (1) because the Moons are a smaller independent act, not signed to a label, this self released effort is unlikely to produce more than the one single it already has ("You Can Run") - and even that was an abnormality for a self-releaed album; and (2) because the Moons are a smaller independent act, not signed to a label, this self-important blogger tends to think he might just capture the band's attention, thus prompting them by suggestion.  Granted, "Act of Creation" isn't really an accurate representation of the band's overall sound - and typically you want the single to be that (which is probably why they chose "You Can Run") - but it's such a striking and dissimilar song, even in terms applied beyond the album it's on.  Frontman Joe McIlheran explores an impressive and anomalous vocal range on this track, and the composition as a whole captures one of those rare moments of inimitable progression in rock music, the likes of which were the blue print for what would properly be labeled Alternative Rock, in the days before the label started being improperly applied to everything.

7. "With My Own Bare Hands" by Ween [from La Cucaracha]

Ignoring the fact that the song is laden with profanity, "With My Own Bare Hands", even as a clean radio edit, represents the next best whack-job single Ween could offer since their catchy lo-fi mainstream breakthrough "Push Th' Little Daisies" back in 1992.  It's a staggered, guitar driven, hard percussion hitting yeller about all the things lead vocalist Aaron Freeman (formerly Gene Ween) is capable of doing, from the scientifically delicate ("I could take your DNA and replicate a man") to the sexually explicit ("I'm gonna be your ass shaker, stick it up in your ass").  In the usual, and so amusingly, Ween-like fashion, the song devolves from its already pretty primitive delivery, into a sort of stream of consciousness, Tourette Syndrome vulgarity that is as hilariously juvenile as it is disjointed. The song is completely indecent, lyrically radio unfriendly, but quite frankly hearing a radio edit version nonetheless would only add to the novelty of this.

8. "Betting On Trains" by Hem [from Rabbit Songs]

A quiet country stroll on a comfortable summer afternoon couldn't be more tranquil than this violin acoustic folk-rock piece from Hem's 2000 debut album.  Lead singer Sally Ellyson's vocals are the closest thing to Ella Fitzgerald you could get in the modern day, and the band's repertoire the best parlour music revival attempt since the general dissipation of the style in the late 18th Century.  The song discusses the familiarity one can establish with the people, places and things in one's life, and how this becomes a predicator, a gospel point of reference, for how everything is and will be - undeniably, whether the notions are factual or not.

9. "I Have Special Powers" by His Name Is Alive [from Last Night]

Never attempting, or pretending, to be a "singles" band, His Name Is Alive could have inadvertently struck fool's gold with the blue mood jazz fusion, late night insomnia feel of "I Have Special Powers", a track culled from their 4AD swan song album, and one that just as surprisingly, might have offered more potential singles than any of their previous or subsequent efforts.  Shame 4AD had already written them off by the time Last Night was released.  The album saw very little promotion, even though if the inclination had been there, the label could have capitalized on what this notoriously schizophrenic, near impossible to market, band produced here. After all, the annals of music history are rife with at-one-time successful musicians who will all agree: one hit is all it takes.


10. "Disengage" by The Honorary Title [from Anything Else But The Truth]

The now popular hokey-stern folk rock style of Vance Joy's "Riptide" and Milky Chance's "Stollen Dance" was preceded by The Honorary Title's "Disengage" back in 2004, but never found a foothold then. Doubtful eleven years after the fact, the now disbanded Honorary Title, or their former label, would be bothered to re-attempt finding fanfare for the song or album - especially after they did attempt a re-issue two years after the initial release, but to no real affect. Still to see "Disengage" fall into a obscurity is a crying shame, all things considered. While the song would have surely belied the content of the rest of the album, promoting a single is about shamelessly selling copies by any means necessary, and if that had been the case, no harm no foul, because the rest of this release would have propelled itself.

11. "The Northern Sea" by Jarrod Dickenson [from The Lonesome Traveler]

Resident Brooklyn, NY folk scene busker, Jarrod Dickenson's 2012 independently released album The Lonesome Traveler, as a whole, coulda woulda shoulda made great waves in the alt. folk music scene right alongside the likes of Bon Iver and the earlier works of The Handsome Family, but as is sadly all too often the case, the marketing dollars and prominent indie label support weren't there; and so until they are, the album will quietly reside in its own beautiful obscurity. The chosen hit, for the intent and purpose of this writing, is the album's second track, entitled "The Northern Sea": the stormy and treacherous sea shanty-esque tale of a fisherman determined to serve his trade, despite unrelenting danger, and minimal reward. Ironically, if this weren't such an obscure blog, the mere naming of the track here might ignite a bevy of downloads, reinstating the song - maybe even the entire album - as an overlooked "sleeper hit", and catapulting Dickenson into the limelight where he truly belongs.  Alas, unseen, on the other side of that tree on the album cover, Dickenson and I are resting our heads against the barked trunk, dreaming of fanfare...

12. "Let Me Go" by Kate Tucker + The Sons of Sweden [from The Shape The Color The Feel]

Considering the music consuming public's long time infatuation with the breathily sung, lustily articulated female vocal design, it's surprising Kate Tucker and her entourage's sophomore album managed to almost entirely land on deaf ears. Showing a bit of a stylistic shift from its predecessor, 2010's White Horses, Tucker regardless should have hit the trendy nail on the proverbial head with this album. "Let Me Go" especially embodies everything definable about the phrase "radio friendly".  Fit her in between Banks, Lorde and Tove Lo, and ne'er a disappointed yuppie-teen eyebrow would be raised.

13. "Tell Me No" by Lady Cannon [from Whiskey Dear]

Milwaukee's Lady Cannon is a whiskey soaked trollop, hellbent on illustrating all of the sinful misdeeds that alcoholism and promiscuity can bring to a life. "Tell Me No" sums up her penchants quite well, detailing the relationship between an "other woman" and a man who belongs to someone else. The real antithesis in her variety of drunken misdeeds, however, is the aching heart and soul behind it. She's naughty, but she's sad, she's malevolent but you're made commiserate for why she is what she is.  Insultingly, you could call her a slut who happens to have a way with words; realistically you could say the same of every great writer from Jack Kerouac to Charles Bukowski. Cannon makes her sins very digestible song compositions, nonetheless, and while "Tell Me No" is no crime of the century, the telling of her drama is expertly distilled, and goes down smooth.

14. "By The Book" by Michael Penn [from Free For All]

Michael Penn came and went, as far as most are concerned, with the hit late 80's single "No Myth".  Truthfully, the artist continued to flourish well into the mid 2000's, offering an album only about every four to six years, but each and every was finely crafted, and showed exponential growth in his ability as a musician. His 1997 overlooked single "I Can Tell" was a fantastic piano rich alternative rock opus, but even more lamentably neglected was this track from his sophomore album Free For All. "By The Book" is a spaciously delivered, acoustic guitar and percussion alt. folk track about the determination behind decided ignorance. Forging forward to meet a desire, calling it acceptable by all terms, but yet... asking forgiveness for it? It's a psychologically challenging song, and maybe the difficulty most would have with getting their head around the message is precisely why it was never promoted. Consequently, Michael Penn is held in high esteem by the highfalutin musician's musicians elite, and a critic's darling to boot. But while those things are arguably impressive, they almost never equal commercial success.

15. "Lost My Mind" by Mile Nielsen [from Miles]

Much like Jakob Dylan, Miles Nielsen's connection to Cheap Trick's Rick Nielsen can be immediately off-putting to a younger audience interested only in discovering "their own thing". Yet, again - much like Jakob Dylan -  Miles Nielsen has been surgical and careful in his career thus far, not to ride on the coattails of his father's fame, and to keep a safe distance between his Rusted Hearts Band and Cheap Trick. Unlike Jakob Dylan, however, Nielsen has yet to see proper popular appeal, though he tours small to mid-size venues across the country frequently - and is acquiring a growing fan base.  "Lost My Mind" is the track most stand out in his two album repertoire thus far, though there are countless others that could easily build his appeal.

16. "Red Accordian" by Patty Larkin [from Perishable Fruit]

Though a little sparse in instrumentation to fit the typical requirements for a radio single, but a perfectly subtle album closer, "Red Accordion" speaks playfully and optimistically to the trials and tribulations of the human condition - a much needed outlook in any age and time.  "Don't listen to the din rising behind you; if you look at life like a train wreck, one will find you..." Larkin advises as the songs emotive sensibility swells to embrace the listener, who by then - if they've any sense of worldliness or self at all - is strongly holding back a cataclysm of cathartic tears.

17. "Wildflowers On Chene" by Rob Reid [from Prairie Shanties of the Landlocked Mariner]

Vaguely reminiscent of the cadence to the song Zorba The Greek (vaguely), Rob Reid's "Wildflowers On Chene" has the same sort of anabasis mood and structure, but fitted instead to a verse chorus song about an assortment of forms and variances on societal decay - both metaphorically and figuratively. The upswing of the song's chorus is among its most catchy and endearing qualities, wherein Reid lets a little sunlight part the deliberative, darkly hewn verses, as the tempo perks up into an upbeat, nonlinear reflection on the better days that existed before this presently dilapidated state of being.

18. "Strangely At Home Here" by Seven Mary Three [from Day & Nightdriving]

"Strangely At Home Here" comes almost a decade and a half after Seven Mary Three's bygone days of topping the Alternative Rock charts, with tracks mostly from their 1995 breakthrough album American Standard. 2008's Day & Nightdriving is a strong departure from the harder rocking of those early years, and though it's still firmly rock music they're performing, it's just not so much grunge rock music anymore. They've clearly settled down a bit now, applying instead more acoustic tones, and for the most part, writing more contemplative compositions; much ado about the home life and, perceptibly, frontman Jason Ross's own domestic relationship concerns.  Midlife maturity manifests itself quite clearly on the album, and "Strangely At Home Here" is aimed squarely at the hearts and minds of all those aging weekend pub crawlers, grappling with the shifts in their livelihood, and the fading but fond memories of the pastimes of their twenties.

19. "For The Sake of Drowning" by Stephanie Dosen [from Ghosts, Mice & Vagabonds]

In a similar vein as Jewel's Pieces of You album, but just shy of ten years after the acoustic aching heart female singer/songwriter fad ended, Stephanie Dosen offered up this under-promoted album about all things emotional, heartfelt and profoundly inner turmultuous.  "For The Sake of Drowning" plays as instrumentally tonal, lyrically yearning and vocally pleading as anything else similar, but that enjoyed much more success.  Dosen's writing, though, in contrast to all of them,  offers a variety of much deeper contexts than her peers were willing to illustrate, and her staying power as a new age Joni Mitchell never saw the potential it fully deserved.

20. "The Well" by The Vega Star [from The Night]

The Vega Star's sole album The Night, by and large, holds rank as the most overlooked independent folk rock album to be released in the last twenty years. The album deals heavily in dread and despair, dark nights and heavy hearts - all matter of things that have appealed very strongly to a larger music consuming public for decades, but that so few songwriters could manage to incarnate as chillingly and with as much melancholy as Vega Star frontman Justin Rolbieki does here. "The Well" acts as what could have been both a single capable of launching the band's career on a larger scale, and a defectless representation of the group's gloomy boutique style and design.

21. "Creature" by The Fatty Acids [from Leftover Monsterface]

In the form of a radio ready single, The Fatty Acid's "Creature" might require some edits for duration, but ultimately represents a unique combination appeal of something like Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" and a number of things by The Residents in the early 80's.  If "Creature" had become a popular single, it would have most definitely defaulted the band into one-hit-wonder categorization, as the song is really the most digestible in the the group's repertoire to date. Nonetheless, credit given to a band whose normal penchant for being bizarrely abstract can be pushed aside to compose a piece with as much mainstream chart appeal as this without even trying.  Milwaukee hasn't seen sui generous in the form of The Fatty Acids since the Violent Femmes, and it's a crying shame they, unlike the Femmes, didn't arrive on the scene in the days and times when "sounding different" didn't equal the same as "sounding sort of like".